Tori Angeli (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tori_angeli) wrote2007-11-14 06:24 am
tori_angeli) wrote2007-11-14 06:24 am
Entry tags:
You bring the cheese, I'll bring the whine
You know, I'm actually kinda wishing I would let myself just...NOT finish NaNoWriMo.
I would regret it. Maybe. I would be guilted into doing it next year. Maybe. But you know, if I finish this year, I doubt I'll do it again.
Gosh, it's not that I'm not enjoying the novel itself, but I miss writing fan fiction. I've also felt like crap the past few days and gotten behind, and trying to catch up is a beast. At this moment, I'm a little over 24K, but GOSH! That's not even halfway. I have this feeling that 25K won't be the top of a mountain and the rest will be downhill, but that it will be where the mountain to 50K gets REALLY steep and doesn't go downhill at all.
I know what happens in the next chapter of The Halfway Point, but I haven't written anything on it this month. I also know what happens in the chapter after that, and all this is where things start to turn around, and it's very cool, but instead of working on that, or on the Underdark fic I promised Nekostuki I would do (I WILL do it, WA, I promise!), or on further installments of Quality Time, or on any of these other bizillions of plot bunnies I have ping-ponging around in my head, I'm working on this original novel, and it's suddenly going SO SLOWLY and I'm not even halfway yet! And the MONTH is almost HALF OVER.
Maybe I can do a huge binge on my NaNo novel the next few days and get it done in like, a week. Then I'll die from exhaustion. After that, I can work on fic. Hmmmm....
You know, that was something like the original plan--get it done early, keep working on other projects. I am so long overdue on Underdark that I feel horribly guilty. Then there's the Uzi!Don bunny that I have to nag Kay into submission over, a bunny I've been aching to write for a long, long time (I have such an intense hatred for this girly version of Don people write).
So yeah, not many people would complain about their original fiction getting in the way of writing fan fiction, but you know, I'm a musician. This isn't what I really do. I just finished a big piece, and I'm resting from it, and writing like crazy. So no guilt there.
But I do try to write my very best, and The Emperor's Wings might actually end up decreasing the quality of my writing. Considering all this crap I'm putting out, I'm starting to get lenient with other rough drafts. Before long, my beta readers will want nothing to do with me.
And man, I want to work on The Halfway Point. Seriously, it's about to get to a turning point, and things will change, and I so want to write that. But between the migraines and the backaches and NaNoWriMo, BLEH! I don't think I can do it right.
And while I'm whining and ranting, I may as well gripe about Pac's SPIRIT getting 456 reviews while Aubretia Lycania's WALKING THE LINE is getting practically NONE. REGARDLESS of whose fic is vastly superior. It drives me mad. How does that happen? WTL used to get all kinds of reviews. Similarly, Bee's TRAFFIC isn't getting many reviews. Dierdre's FADE is still getting reviews galore, and she updates like, once a year. Bee and Aub are both of Dierdre's caliber and far beyond Pac's. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? GRARR!
So grar. Miss Tori is frustrated and procrastinating and despairing and wondering if she can get this done after all, or more importantly, if it's worth it. To quote Groth the Ogre: RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
I would regret it. Maybe. I would be guilted into doing it next year. Maybe. But you know, if I finish this year, I doubt I'll do it again.
Gosh, it's not that I'm not enjoying the novel itself, but I miss writing fan fiction. I've also felt like crap the past few days and gotten behind, and trying to catch up is a beast. At this moment, I'm a little over 24K, but GOSH! That's not even halfway. I have this feeling that 25K won't be the top of a mountain and the rest will be downhill, but that it will be where the mountain to 50K gets REALLY steep and doesn't go downhill at all.
I know what happens in the next chapter of The Halfway Point, but I haven't written anything on it this month. I also know what happens in the chapter after that, and all this is where things start to turn around, and it's very cool, but instead of working on that, or on the Underdark fic I promised Nekostuki I would do (I WILL do it, WA, I promise!), or on further installments of Quality Time, or on any of these other bizillions of plot bunnies I have ping-ponging around in my head, I'm working on this original novel, and it's suddenly going SO SLOWLY and I'm not even halfway yet! And the MONTH is almost HALF OVER.
Maybe I can do a huge binge on my NaNo novel the next few days and get it done in like, a week. Then I'll die from exhaustion. After that, I can work on fic. Hmmmm....
You know, that was something like the original plan--get it done early, keep working on other projects. I am so long overdue on Underdark that I feel horribly guilty. Then there's the Uzi!Don bunny that I have to nag Kay into submission over, a bunny I've been aching to write for a long, long time (I have such an intense hatred for this girly version of Don people write).
So yeah, not many people would complain about their original fiction getting in the way of writing fan fiction, but you know, I'm a musician. This isn't what I really do. I just finished a big piece, and I'm resting from it, and writing like crazy. So no guilt there.
But I do try to write my very best, and The Emperor's Wings might actually end up decreasing the quality of my writing. Considering all this crap I'm putting out, I'm starting to get lenient with other rough drafts. Before long, my beta readers will want nothing to do with me.
And man, I want to work on The Halfway Point. Seriously, it's about to get to a turning point, and things will change, and I so want to write that. But between the migraines and the backaches and NaNoWriMo, BLEH! I don't think I can do it right.
And while I'm whining and ranting, I may as well gripe about Pac's SPIRIT getting 456 reviews while Aubretia Lycania's WALKING THE LINE is getting practically NONE. REGARDLESS of whose fic is vastly superior. It drives me mad. How does that happen? WTL used to get all kinds of reviews. Similarly, Bee's TRAFFIC isn't getting many reviews. Dierdre's FADE is still getting reviews galore, and she updates like, once a year. Bee and Aub are both of Dierdre's caliber and far beyond Pac's. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? GRARR!
So grar. Miss Tori is frustrated and procrastinating and despairing and wondering if she can get this done after all, or more importantly, if it's worth it. To quote Groth the Ogre: RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
no subject
do most of my "writing" when I'm not actually moving my fingers over the keyboard, but when I'm driving or loading the dishwasher, or in the shower... when my mind happily wanders off to hang out with the characters and I eavesdrop on their conversations.
I don't want to admit to total fanficiton addiction, though that may be the case, but I do believe that my default setting for those mind-drifting moments is Ninja Turtles. I find I'm very frustrated by my NaNo novel because -- I think- my plan was to make it a very character-driven story and I'm not yet in love with my characters. Also the NaNo format-- get it out regardless of quality-- is messing with my taking them to any depth.
This brings up some fear, too, because writng fiction is where I want to go as I transition (hopefully) out of my present career. I need to know that I can allocate the writing part of my mind to some characters besides those that belong to someone else. =o/
As far as the fic review issue goes, I know I'm terrible and need to get over there to read and review... so I fear I'm part of the
problem, not the solution. Yet.
no subject
no subject
Thanks for the mention. :) Hope chap 5 was ok. Well, I'm resigned to the fact I don't write the sort of "popular" stories pacs does; I get readers but maybe they just don't get excited enough to review; c'est la vie! I will wish and hope and be happy with what I get. lol.